So, since I did absolutely nothing this weekend (except eat sushi which was very good btw) I decided to just jot down some thoughts that were floating around in my head instead. I think they especially started to come up for the very fact that I didn’t go anywhere outside of Quito this weekend. My trip to the Amazon was, as I mentioned, my last real trip of any speaking and now having that done I am in that limbo of feeling like “ok, I’m done with all things on my to-do list with this country” and “I’m not cuz I still have school to finish”. These next three weeks make me feel like I am so close to heading home and at the same time like I still have quite a bit of time left- it is almost a 1/5 of my entire stay… But nonetheless, I can’t deny that every day I am getting more and more excited to come home, which of course we all kind of feel the need to keep on the DL when not amongst ourselves to avoid offending or more mildly hurting the feelings of anyone. And of course at the same time I realize that this may be my last 3 weeks in this country, ever- which adds a little bit of sentiment to it as well. When you live in any new place for long enough to learn about how it runs, where everything is, and where it is in relation to everything else you can’t help but make that a part of you. It will be weird to know how to get from my house here to the university or Centro Historico or the artesian market in the Mariscal when I’m no longer in this country. It almost seems like a whole other world that only halfway exists and right now I’m only imagining it. As much as I can assuredly say that never in my life would I want to live in Quito Ecuador in truth, I already have and I will at least miss using all that I know about how to get around in this city and country.
As we all know I will miss practically none of the men in this country or the machismo mentality that follows them like a shadow everywhere, but I will in fact miss a few people which, if they never leave the country to be seen elsewhere, you actually can end up missing more than anything about the country itself. I will miss my host parents of course- even though living with them has made me appreciate, more than I could ever express, my own parents, they have dedicated about 4 months of their lives, care, and friendship to me and helped make my experience here in Ecuador what it is. At the same time, I will miss my other set of un-official Ecuadorian parents, that is- Marco’s parents. These are two people who have touched me an impacted my life incredibly in a way I never knew I hadn’t been touched. Never have I met two people more ready and wanting to accept so many new people into their lives- and when I say lives I mean everyday lives. Their kindness and genuine friendship made me feel at home is their home(s) and truly like I was a welcomed part of their family. The only way I can think of to halfway describe this feeling is when you meet your significant other’s whole family for the first time and the immediately love and welcome you simply because you are with their son/daughter/nephew/niece/grandson/daughter etc… except for me, they did this without me dating their son- in fact, he didn’t even need to be around for it to happen. That kindness I will miss terribly when I leave them and this country but at the same time is a beautiful thing to carry with me as a reminder that humanity does still have it’s aspects that make everything worthwhile. And my third set of parents, and all of ours, Fernando and Eugenia I will miss as well. They have continued to do so much for each and every one of us since the day we arrived in Quito and without a doubt have helped make this trip run more smoothly than it would have had they not been here. Let’s face it, half of us would probably be dead or have called it quits a lot earlier if it had not been for them.
And yet, at the same time as all of these feelings I cannot wait to see my parents- the ones who have raised me perfectly to become just the way I am. Between experiencing how other couples live together here in Ecuador and sharing/hearing stories about the parents and lives of other kids on the trip with me I have been lovingly beaten over the head with how completely fantastic my family really is. And it’s something we never really fully realize I think until we are without it and for that I can’t wait for even just that one moment when I step off the plane and see them and know and feel how great it is that- “Those are mine.” Just like as a drive through town in my car, past all the Mexican restaurants where I eat fantastic food, and the mountains that I see every time I look out my window. And even back in Salem (I can’t believe I miss Salem) when I walk back onto the campus and play basketball in my gym, and run in Busch Park where I have my own trail and no one pays me any notice, or drive down to Lancaster and eat at Olive Garden with Kaitlin where we eat just to treat ourselves to a night after surviving another week at school… In a country where I don’t watch over my shoulder or stick my money in my bra and carry my cell phone in my back pocket because I don’t think twice about being robbed or assaulted in plane daylight (or even really at night). Where if a man whistles at me (and that’s all he does, no pet names or kissy noises in my face) it is because a) I am dressed in such a way that I want to be noticed anyway, b) he really just wanted to give a compliment and was cocky enough to think that would work, or c) it’s a friend just goofing off. Where I can walk down the street in shorts and a tank top and flip-flops or go to class in basketball shorts and a t-shirt and blend into the crowd. Where the police are people you respect and dislike because they give you traffic tickets but appreciate because they will come running to your aid if you ever need it (ie. doing their job.) Where I can safely (and cheaply) get birth control or condoms and an abortion if I am raped or sick from pregnancy or in no position to bring another life into this world. Where I can walk down the street (at least more freely than in Ecuador) and where my rainbow gay-pride t-shirt holding my girlfriend’s hand and not worry someone will jump out of a car and beat the crap out of me. And where I feel that if I care enough about an issue and work hard enough I can make my voice heard and influence change.
It still comes as a surprise to some people but the Unites States in fact is not perfect (who knew, right?!?!) and has about three handfuls of its own problems but- yes there is a “but”- spending 5 months (or even 2) in a third-world developing country makes you realize just how much America does have, and how much it gives you in your life there. Some of them are little things and some are big that we say we appreciate about America but, like families and all other good things we never really appreciate them fully until we don’t have them. That is why as frustrated as I am with the way the Ecuador functions I am also paradoxically grateful for it. By giving me a wider picture of the world it has given me a better understanding and infinite appreciation of my own country and dare I say it, an increased patriotism. I love my country, but unlike so many of the people who throw the word around so careless and ignorantly, I actually know why.
